Life thoughts

I rarely blog anymore, but I do know this is a good place to jot down my feelings when I just need to get them out.
After spending the holiday break with my kiddos and finally seeing my daughter healthy for the first time since October, I keep contemplating my current job. I HATED sending her back to daycare for fear she will just get sick all over again, but what other options do I have?
So that got me thinking...mmm..maybe it's time for a career change...stay at home mom?? I don't know if I can do that....I have always professed that I think it's important for us mommies to use our brains and our college educations, but more and more I feel guilty everyday I drop my kids off at daycare. Why am I now feeling this HUGE amount of guilt? Was it just because I just got done spending a week and a half with them? Or am I really just SO tired of the same work duties day in and day out that I want to stay home?
My dream would be to take pictures for a living...love love love doing this! But I'm a chicken butt and need to learn more about this profession before I jump into it. I need a new camera, I need other lighting, I need backgrounds, etc..which all cost money...money that I earn with my job...and that I won't have if I quit.
Why is money such a driving force in our lives; it really can be the root of all evil. My friend recently wrote a newspaper article in regards to simplifing our lives. After reading this, I think this is when my mind started to wander and wonder. We don't need all the stuff we really have (toys, gadgets, cars, etc), all that matters is that you're with the ones you love and live your life the way you want since life is way too short. I am reminded of this today as there is a funeral going on for a young mom and her 7 year old child who were both killed in a car accident last week. Ugh..it just breaks my heart and even though my kids can drive me to insanity, I want to keep them close by at all times and hug them constantly.
Who knows why I am in such a funk. Maybe because I have the January blahs. Maybe it's because I'm bored at work. or maybe just maybe, a higher being is (or my grams and gramps) are giving me signals that it's time for change.
And as I finish up this blog, one of my favorite songs in on my Pandora, Man in the Mirror. And I will end this entry with a few lines from the song.
"I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways."