Life thoughts

I rarely blog anymore, but I do know this is a good place to jot down my feelings when I just need to get them out.
After spending the holiday break with my kiddos and finally seeing my daughter healthy for the first time since October, I keep contemplating my current job. I HATED sending her back to daycare for fear she will just get sick all over again, but what other options do I have?
So that got me thinking...mmm..maybe it's time for a career change...stay at home mom?? I don't know if I can do that....I have always professed that I think it's important for us mommies to use our brains and our college educations, but more and more I feel guilty everyday I drop my kids off at daycare. Why am I now feeling this HUGE amount of guilt? Was it just because I just got done spending a week and a half with them? Or am I really just SO tired of the same work duties day in and day out that I want to stay home?
My dream would be to take pictures for a living...love love love doing this! But I'm a chicken butt and need to learn more about this profession before I jump into it. I need a new camera, I need other lighting, I need backgrounds, etc..which all cost money...money that I earn with my job...and that I won't have if I quit.
Why is money such a driving force in our lives; it really can be the root of all evil. My friend recently wrote a newspaper article in regards to simplifing our lives. After reading this, I think this is when my mind started to wander and wonder. We don't need all the stuff we really have (toys, gadgets, cars, etc), all that matters is that you're with the ones you love and live your life the way you want since life is way too short. I am reminded of this today as there is a funeral going on for a young mom and her 7 year old child who were both killed in a car accident last week. Ugh..it just breaks my heart and even though my kids can drive me to insanity, I want to keep them close by at all times and hug them constantly.
Who knows why I am in such a funk. Maybe because I have the January blahs. Maybe it's because I'm bored at work. or maybe just maybe, a higher being is (or my grams and gramps) are giving me signals that it's time for change.
And as I finish up this blog, one of my favorite songs in on my Pandora, Man in the Mirror. And I will end this entry with a few lines from the song.
"I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways."

Gut feelings

What is it about growing up and realizing that your gut feelings really do make sense?!? While rocking my daughter back to sleep last night at 3 am and checking my email on my iPad (yes I'm a multitasker at heart) I saw the message come through about my son's baseball games. So I check out the updated tournament brackets and see that we have possible games on Saturday. Now this Saturday we had our 3rd Annual Beer Party planned, but something was telling me that we should cancel it. And seeing how I was up at 3 am with my daughter and that we may have baseball games, I knew that those were 2 things telling me the party was not a good idea. So I sent a little message to my husband and told him my hesitation with the party and sure enough he felt the same way. Phew! It is really crazy how my husband and I pretty much think alike. Kids come first and that's that.
So after I sent the message out this morning that the party was canceled, I instantly felt relief and started planning things to do with my kids (after baseball of course).
Now matter how much I want to have my free time, I know that anytime spent with my kids is precious and I need to take advantage of it...you never know what life will throw at you next.

Enough Already

I am such a bad blogger, but this pregnancy has taken its toll on me. For one, I have taken a leave of absence from my Master's Program, but hoping to get back to it. Second, I've had 6 ultrasounds with one more scheduled on March 2 and I'm just completely annoyed by how many I've had. It's weird b/c with both boys I only had the 1 at 20 weeks and that's it. This baby girl has proven to be a stink bug already so that is why I've had so many u/s with her. The one on March 2 is to check to see if she's turned...yes...Third...she's breech. GRRR! I am scared to death of being sliced open and I really would prefer giving birth the other way, but I guess I will do what I have to! Fourth, during the u/s they measure the baby all over the place and apparently I'm growing a baby chubs. Apparently it runs in both families! Ha! So this girl better not stay in way too long b/c I definitely can't imagine birthing a 10lb baby like her gramma and aunt. Yikes!
I'm miserable, tired, cranky, feel like a whale and just SO ready to meet this little girl...although I know she still has a few more weeks to cook. I'm ready for the buzzer to go off any time now.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

New Beginnings

I haven't blogged in who knows when, but it's a new year and I'm going to try to start off by blogging a little more.
Today I start back in my master's program here at WSU. We only have class on Thursdays, but it's two classes from 4-10:30...I literally die in the last class just dreaming of my bed. This quarter will be especially eventful as I should have this little baby girl before it ends. I'm hopeful that I will still be able to continue with my masters program but know I will have new challenges to face once this little girl arrives. Oh...just think of how tired I will be then with no motivation whatsoever to want to sit in class for 6 hours and I'll just want to be at home with my husband and kids. *sigh* I know I really have nothing substantial to complain about and I am truly thankful for the life I've been given. But everyone needs to vent...and this is going to be my outlet from now on so my family and coworkers don't get sick of me...so sorry bloggers...i'll be whiny for awhile.

I'm so freaked!

Ok so I've been a bad blogger! But I don't think I have had too many interesting things happen lately, but this I had to share.

So I've had my grandma recently go into the hospital (she's 92 but doing well), my friend's grandma is currently in the hospital and has been dealing with very hard times for the past 6 weeks, staff members at WSU have passed away or have gotten really injured, and a co-worker has had 2 relatives (mom and niece) pass away.

Now if you know me well enough I am afraid of death. I hate thinking about it, talking about, EVERYTHING about it. Thankfully I personally haven't had to deal with death since my other grandma passed away in June 2008, but I feel like I'm surrounded by it all of the sudden.

So I do get to thinking about how much I miss my grandparents. My grandpa died unexpectedly in 2000 and like I mentioned above, his wife, my grandma, passed away in 2008. I was really close to both of them and they were the 2 best grandparents a girl could have. I haven't thought about my grandpa in awhile and as I was walking through the tunnels here at WSU after grabbing my soup, an older man came around the corner. I looked up, saw him, and looked backed down at my feet as I usually do when I walk. But then I quickly looked back up. My word did he look like my grandpa...so much that it creeped me out and I quickly looked back down again. I knew I was getting closer to him b/c I could see him walking towards me and then I hear his voice, "Hi there young lady. Have a great day." I looked up, smiled, and said "Hi and have a great day as well."

WHAT!?!? WHY!?!? WHO!?!? What just happened? Why did he talk to me? Who was this man that so much resembled my grandpa? I immediately got teared up and walked much faster to get back to my desk and blog about it.

And as most of you know, I don't go to church like I used to since I have turned away against being a Catholic. But I am a believer of God and I think I just witnessed his amazing ways.
RIP Grandpa and thanks for letting me know you're still here with me.

As time goes by...

I just got the kids school pictures back and they hardly ever turn out cute. But for some reason the kids must have taken cute pills that particular photo day b/c when I got the pictures back yesterday I almost wanted to cry! Wow...they were SO good and I wanted to buy all of them.


How handsome my little 2 guys are growing up to be. I can't believe how big they are getting and turning in to such little men. Carson has made some huge milestones on going potty and so we're on the path to diaper free days! Mason has such a fun temperment about him that he pretty much goes along with anything and is becoming quite the handy helper around the house. I really can't believe how fast time goes by when you have children. I often think about it and get really freaked out, but then I just have to remind myself to take one day at a time. I may get frustrated at times (don't laugh Mike), but I will never have those 'precious' moments again since the boys are growing up. So here are a few of the boys great pictures from school that I like the best! :)

Mason at age 5.5 years old and looking so handsome!

Carson at 3 years old and looking like a little man!

The 'angel's together! :) Oh if they were only this cute ALL the time!

My brave hubby! ;)

Ok...so my husband is terrified of snakes...and I mean terrified...he thinks they are from the devil. So as I was running to get behind our car while playing water guns with the kids last night, I stopped dead in my tracks and screamed 'SNAKE!' So here comes Mike around the corner and yells obscenities and runs to get a weapon of some sort to kill this thing. I thought maybe this was a garter snake or as I like to call them 'garden' snakes, but as we waited a few more minutes the snake began to slither along the driveway and reveal its true size. And then, more obscenities came flying from Mike's mouth! Realizing that his first choice of weapon (a metal stud) was not going to do justice, I ran inside the house, closed the garage door (snake was right by it) and grabbed a heavy shovel making sure my kids and fur babies were inside the house.

By this time, a little commotion had erupted and a few of the neighbors and kids were gathered outside wondering what was going on. I'm sure it was a sight to see since I was standing on the back of Mike's car and Mike was cautiously using his shovel to try to get the snake to come out of the bush it had raveled itself up in. So this business of Mike trying to use a shovel or a hoe to try to get the snake out was not working so he tried rocks once it finally came back on the ground. Rocks weren't proving to work either as the snake was just getting pissed off. Since I know Mike is so terrified of snakes I knew this would go on for awhile until he could get a clear shot of the snake in open air. But like heck I was going to kill this thing, but I knew our neighbor Kevin would do the trick if he could just hurry up and get home! Probably about an hour later, Kevin finally pulled into his driveway and I quickly yelled 'Kevin we need you to kill a snake'! So Kevin goes and gets his bat and just simply lifts the snake out of the bush while the screams of me, Mike and the neighbors fill the air! So Kevin just wanted to dump it back in the field behind us, but Mike wasn't going to let that happen not after his battle with conquering it. So Kevin took the snake back a little ways on the side of the house and you just see Mike going to town with his shovel. UGH! It was so nasty since the snake sort of bounced as it was getting hit....the poor kids were screaming 'This is so gross' while I had to leave the scene of the snake murder b/c it was churning my stomach. Ha! So needless to say we had a fun evening of Mike becoming Indiana Brigger! :) I posted a few pictures below of our lovely yard guest from last night-RIP!

The face of the devil according to Mike

I couldn't get the whole snake in the picture...it turns out to be a black rat snake which can get up to 6 ft long...this one was a little over 3 we think.